Stop Copying Me

Dear Joel, One of the ladies in my group of friends copies just about everything I do. Once I showed her a glittery blouse I bought for a party and she showed up wearing almost the exact same thing. Another time I shared my recipe for my mouth watering clam dip and she shows up at a church event passing it off as her own. It drives me crazy and I’ve just about had it. She never gives me any credit or even tells me I had a good idea. I’m tired of living in my own shadow.
  ANSWER: They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but I don’t think you would agree. Clearly this woman admires you, but she also unnerves you and that is not the foundation of a long lasting friendship. First determine if she is truly insecure or if she is just out to steal your thunder. If she’s really timid, shop with her for an outfit or a recipe. If she’s the second type and you want to have her for a friend, you may have to address the situation head-on. Ask her why she insists on mirroring you and tell her you don’t like it. You might also try to beat her to the punch by asking her what she will be bringing or wearing to the next party first. If she values you, she’ll stop. In the end, you are the one with the original thoughts and that means you’ll always have the next great idea.

Posted in Dear Joel