The Invisible Man in Toms River

Dear Joel,

My wife and I have a near perfect marriage. We enjoy the same things and do almost everything together except when her mother visits. She’s a nice enough lady, but when she’s here it’s like I don’t exist.

The Invisible Man in Toms River

Dear Invisible,

You folks sound like a super family. You are very lucky to have a great relationship with your wife that you enjoy every day. Additionally, it is wonderful that your wife and your mother get along so well. If you saw all the situations and family dynamics I have, you would know how truly blessed you are. Still I do understand. It’s hard to feel like odd man out, but try not to take it personally. Your wife knew your mother-in-law her whole life. It’s a sacred bond, and your wife probably loves you more for giving her the time with her mother. Don’t let it get to you, instead, use that time to do all things you need or want to do. When you start to view your mother-in-law’s visits as a gift to your wife and as your personal time you’ll all enjoy it and you’ll get a lot accomplished. Read that book you always wanted to read, organize the garage, treat yourself to a nice meal out, take a bike ride, or review all your papers and insurance policies; you may even find a little extra savings. Remember, you’re not invisible, you’re on vacation.

Posted in Dear Joel